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Sassy and Classy Durham Ladies 20's 30's 40's. Sassy and Classy Durham Ladies 20's 30's 40's We got class girls. Get off the couch Durham! Lesbian Professionals — Toronto. Lesbian Professionals — Toronto 3, Members. Widowed Friends Members. Asian Outdoor Enthusiasts Toronto. Single Connections 30ss group. Single Connections 30ss group 1, Members. The Beaches Euchre Club. The Beaches Euchre Club 50 Euchre sharks. The Shmoozers Members. Single and 40, I moved back to Toronto after a decade of working on human-rights projects in developing countries.
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I was ready to settle down and find a soulmate, preferably one who liked to travel and could locate Afghanistan on a map. Dating in my 40s was not going to be like dating in my 20s. I was wiser, more confident and knew myself better. On the flip side, the unromantic conditions of my overseas life had caused severe loss of dating know-how. Right, a leisurely activity where you chat with someone over a drink or a meal to discern whether an intimate long-term relationship is possible.
Conversation should be relaxed and flow without awkward silences. If you find the person attractive, interesting and fun, you arrange to meet again. I could do this. My reintroduction to dating in Toronto was set to happen at a hip downtown bar with a couple of friends.
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I donned a pair of jeans, a stylish top, some lipstick. Memories of university romances danced in my head as I practised flirting in the mirror while holding a glass of wine. This became known as Plan A. Not only were all the patrons under 30, but the women were dressed in sexy outfits I would never wear. Predictably, no one noticed us except the bartender.
While we were discussing our next move, music suddenly started blaring so loudly it killed the conversation. Our trio of not-wanting-to-be-cougars raced back to my place and my stockpile of red wine.
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It was 10 p. Three-minute conversations are incredibly short. Once you've found out each other's professions and hobbies, likes and dislikes, it's already time to move on. There's barely enough time to jot down a name, let alone envision holding hands on a moonlit beach.
At the end of the evening, the faces and conversations blurred together; not a single guy stood out as someone to see again. Meet a guy at a class or a sports league.
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Meeting men through mutual friends was no longer possible, as none knew any single and dateable guys. So I joined a beach volleyball group. Sundays that summer became a joyous mix of sand, sun and beer.
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And I met someone. We dated for six weeks before I broke it off. To me, that seemed equivalent to six months in single-and-fortysomething years.
Encouraged by such a long relationship, I grew bolder. Conversations with other singles netted valuable information about meeting mates online. I was amazed at how quickly and openly they broached the topic of Internet dating: Still, I was skeptical. At first, I scoured each profile and crafted individualized messages.
About eight dates in, I got my groove and began to send more messages with fewer words. I started dating up a storm, sometimes two a night back to back. The guys were entertaining, the restaurants nice, the conversations fun, but disappointingly there were no real sparks.
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None turned out to be the optimistic, self-assured traveller I was looking for. My approach needed a change. Instead of a restaurant, perhaps an activity would give me more insight into his personality and possible shared interests. So my next date unfolded at a photography shoot for a band. He took photos with a passion that was endearing. Photography, which we both enjoyed, was also a good focus for our conversation. Sharing the same sense of humour, we laughed and talked into the wee hours of the night.
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Parting, we set up a second date for the coming weekend.
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