Dating someone with anorexia

Leave the advice to the professionals and, as an intimate partner, just be a shoulder to cry on. This, too, shall pass.

What It’s Like To Date Someone With An Eating Disorder

So it stands to reason that you must treat your relationship with someone who is recovering from an eating disorder in the same way. Weight and food are, like the weather, easy targets for starting cocktail party conversations — because everyone has to eat.

Moreover, we build entire tribes and identities based on our diets and workouts. Think about it this way: However, you can learn to express your excitement by channeling that energy into something you can do together , like a movie night or a trip to a karaoke bar.

Guilt and shame about food may drive your partner to feel like they need to hide the behaviors from you — and eating disorders multiply in the darkness. To avoid this, keep your observations to yourself.

  • Dating with an eating disorder: being honest worked for me | Metro News.
  • 5 Ways to Be an Ally to Your Partner’s Eating Disorder Recovery (And Avoid Triggering Them)!
  • no interest in dating at all!

The recovered individual gets to find his or her own path and learn how to become comfortable eating around others, one strange meal at a time. That said, there is a certain responsibility on the part of a partner to reduce the potential for harm, and that includes moving the focus of conversation away from the body.

Telling your partner that you love their curves, for example, might be triggering, because they are still coming to terms with having to have curves in the first place. But try to channel some of that positive energy into complimenting them on a non-scale victory. There are plenty of ways to show your partner that you support the incredible person they are.

In many instances, the disordered person develops the obsessive desire to simply disappear.


How Eating Disorders Affect Relationships | Recovery Warriors

Any reminder that the body is tangible — including touch by someone they love — can be a painful reminder that they have failed to meet that objective. The inexplicable repulsion to or fear of touch, even into recovery, can hinder sexual exploration even though they may feel desire and want to participate in sexual activity with their partners. These effects can last long after recovery — which can be very frustrating to a partner with a mismatched drive. This could be a good time, however, for some consensual cuddling or reassuring hugs.

Dedicated to your stories and ideas.

I was very ill throughout our relationship and it was very hard for him to see someone he loved in such pain. He played the part of my carer on many occasions; unless carefully managed, this does not make for a good, healthy or equal, relationship.


He tried to support me, but I had multiple admissions to hospital when acutely unwell and this took its toll on him. Relationships are very tricky when mentally ill. I got to a point in my recovery where I needed to start exploring relationships in order to restore my faith in men.

We’re not trying to please you

I was in a bit of a difficult position and had to get the timing right, too soon and my eating disorder would still be too dominant, leave it too long and my recovery would be delayed. I had a few things in mind.

At our first date, we met for a drink and just chatted, it was a fairly short date but we chatted freely and easily and I thought this was a very good sign. Should I just go ahead with it and hope I could manage it, risking a panic attack and ruining my chances with Steve, or should I ask for us to do something different?

I realised, if I could come up with a compromise, I might be able to challenge myself but not push myself too far, too fast.

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